Revive Daily Assignments
Day 7 – Plan for rest.
Please purchase this course, or sign in if you’re already enrolled, to access the course content.
13 responses to “Day 7 – Plan for rest.”
-
I think this may be the biggest challenge in my life right now. I do not know how to have fun anymore. I don’t know how to play with my kids, play make believe, how to relax and enjoy a movie without worrying about what needs to be done, etc. This is really sad and I think it is contributing to burnout. I have been in “mom mode” and “get things done” so long, it’s hard to remember what fun is like!! If I want to play a fun night, like Friday is pizza and movie or cards- do I make everyone participate? Or just do it and those who want to participate can and the rest can do what they want?? If I keep doing fun night, do you think they will catch on and join me? Maybe this is what input goal vs output goal means????? I’d love for everyone to be on board, but if some buck against it, I don’t want my feelings hurt or get angry at them. “We are going to have fun!!! Now sit down!!! Lol!!! You know what I mean???
-
I think it’s great that you’re seeing patterns, Karen, but don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s okay not to be a playmate.
Also, don’t overthink it. It can be as simple as doing something and seeing if anyone wants to join in or just saying yes when a kid asks you to do something. You’re all learning this anew together, so be patient with yourself.
-
Be sure to click through as there are other good comments on this thread since you posted!
-
-
The tyranny of the urgent. . .I struggle with this as well! And then I get upset because the other people in the house are relaxing while I’m still working!
I would ask yourself if you truly enjoy watching movies or playing make believe or if it’s something you feel you “should” do. Who we are as moms depends in part on our own strengths. I have in all honesty told my kids the reason I had six of them is so they could play with each other! As they’ve gotten older (teens and 20s) I am more likely to join them in a board game because they’ve outgrown the little kid games. On the flip side, family movie night is a thing of the past because I don’t have the stomach for the action/superhero stuff that the boys want to watch now (my daughter will still watch old musicals with me, but she doesn’t live at home).
-
Truth!
-
-
Well, to be honest, I don’t really enjoy playing make believe or playing with toys. I do not like long, drawn out board games- like Monopoly or the dreaded game Risk!! My mom and brother would play Risk for HOURS!! I get so bored and frustrated. I need quick games like CandyLand or go fish!! Lol! I hated long board games as a child. If I play dolls with my daughter, I’d rather play quietly and braid the dolls hair or change the dolls outfits. Things like that. But in the image in my mind, a “good mom” gets in the floor and plays with her kids.
Angie, I totally get the superhero movies. I don’t enjoy them either. And with a house full of boys, I don’t get to watch things like Little House on the Prairie very much!! And I’m like you, still working while they are relaxing. Fun to me is kneading bread, baking cookies, reading a book. However, I’m itching to get into building miniatures!!! Decorating miniature rooms, like in a doll house with tiny furniture.
So how do I “bond” with them through fun, if I don’t really enjoy the things they do? Jessica, I did one thing you said- play when they ask. I was outside with one son and was going to play on my phone, but he asked me to shoot basketball with him so I did that instead and we had fun. But I don’t want to “play” horses, dolls, games, or basketball for hours at a time.
-
I hear you, Karen. A friend of a friend broke down crying during a visit because she just couldn’t play another round of make believe princess with her little one anymore. I think Jessica is right – you are not obligated to be a full time playmate.
I like sci-fi and superhero movies. I also love to cook/bake – sometimes when the gang wants to watch one of those movies, I try to incorporate a fun themed snack or something to go with it. Maybe that is a way that you could participate while still making it something you enjoy. The planning and creating something for everyone to share, and then getting to eat it – might make the movie a little bit more palatable.
Or, maybe you just bow out of those movie nights and that’s your “you” time. Pick another night to play games that are 30 minutes or less – there are lots of those. : )
-
Thank you for your reply!!! Oh no about the mom having the break down over playing princess!! I get it, though!!
I like your ideas too. It lets me know it’s ok if I don’t really enjoying “playing” certain things and to not stress over it. That there are other ways I can be a part of the fun and still have fun myself.
-
-
-
Karen, I don’t like the long drawn out games either, but we’ve gotten a few games that I don’t mind. I do it more for the conversation that happens while we’re playing anyhow. I do end up playing more games now because the 14 year old really likes games and the only other kid left at home is 17 and not into playing with little brother. :/ When we did movie night, I would usually wander off to clean up the kitchen after we finished eating our pizza, and then head into my sewing room while dh watched the rest of the movie with them.
I enjoyed one on one time with my kids teaching them to bake things. Also if I have to drive one kid somewhere–they will talk so much more if we’re both facing ahead! I asked them questions about what they’re playing and I quietly listened to their conversations with each other (so I know a lot of their inside jokes even if I don’t always get it!). But I didn’t actively play with them very much and I think that’s okay. I read aloud to them a lot (we homeschooled, but I read non school books too) and they are totally spoiled by eating mostly from-scratch food and wearing mommy made clothes. No mom can do it all, and I think your kids are going to have happier memories if you’re doing the things that come naturally to you rather than going against the grain to do what you think you “should.”
-
Thank you Angie!!!!❤️ Love all that you wrote- especially the part of doing what comes naturally instead of going against the grain to do what I “should” be doing.
-
You’re welcome, Karen! I spent my first 10+ years of motherhood trying to be my own mom and failing. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom and we do have a lot in common. But we’re not identical and I found it exhausting to do everything the way she did. If you like to read, this is the book that helped me figure that out: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/917345.MotherStyles?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=VcUo47W76b&rank=1
-
Thank you so much for the book recommendation!!! I looked it up and that is something I would enjoy reading!! I have a great mom too, but I am spending my time trying to be the opposite of her and trying to copy my mother in law. My mom was messy but fun. My MIL keeps an immaculate house. Well, guess what? I’m on the messy side. You are right that it is exhausting to fight against who you are!! I guess trying to live out the stuff I didn’t get and it is wearing me out! Ugh! Comparison trap!
-
-
-
-
Thank you so much for the book recommendation!!! I looked it up and that is something I would enjoy reading!! I have a great mom too, but I am spending my time trying to be the opposite of her and trying to copy my mother in law. My mom was messy but fun. My MIL keeps an immaculate house. Well, guess what? I’m on the messy side. You are right that it is exhausting to fight against who you are!! I guess trying to live out the stuff I didn’t get and it is wearing me out! Ugh! Comparison trap!
Leave a Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.